Number Forty

Just because you've lowered your expectations, doesn't mean you can't still be horribly let down.

Number Thirty-Nine

Apparently, it's a bad idea to cut your toenails in the dark.

Number Thirty-Eight

If you haven't watched a show on the DVR in three months, it's probably not going to happen. Best to delete it and move on with your life.

Number Thirty-Seven

When you live in a city where the high temperature is in the 90s in November, it's best not to discuss weather with a relative who lives in a much cooler climate.

Number Thirty-Six

If you can injure yourself whilst putting on a pair of pants, you likely qualify as that really special kind of uncoordinated that is usually reserved for the mentally ill.