Number Fifty-Nine

"All your love and a field of corn" is not considered an acceptable answer to the question, "What do you want for your birthday?"

Number Forty-One

Green is the most pernicious of food coloring shades - sometimes even a small amount of green icing is enough to cause oddly colored bodily fluids for days.

Number Thirty-Three

You may think you don't like gelato, but that's only because you didn't have really good gelato. Taste the good stuff, and you'll like it. I promise.

Number Thirty-One

If you have strawberry yogurt in one hour and strawberry gelato in the next hour, the strawberry gelato will taste and feel awful, because your brain is expecting more strawberry yogurt.

Number Twenty-Eight

Dr. House was right: Cheese really is the devil's plaything.

Number Twenty-Seven

When Halloween candy hits the shelves, it's time to throw away the stuff from Valentine's Day.

Number Twenty-Five

Considering that most Italian restaurants do not, traditionally, offer fortune cookies, it's best to have low expectations for taste and quality when you come across and Italian restaurant that does.

Number Seventeen

It's best not to eat while watching "Fringe."

Number Ten

Even Tupperware is powerless to prevent mold from forming on food left at room temperature for three weeks.