Number Fifty-Four

You can't blame Tom Clancy for all of your problems.

Number Fifty-Two

Skinny girls can have cankles, too.

Number Fifty

"Friend is a four-letter word." - Cake

Number Forty-Eight

Passive aggression inevitably leads to aggressive aggression.

Number Twenty

You can think to yourself that people will be impressed by your self-confidence, because you are a short woman wearing flats instead of heels, but most people will probably just wonder why such a short woman isn't wearing heels.

Number Eight

Those happy couples you see on eHarmony ads are the exception, not the rule.

Number Seven

If you want any assistance at all at the Home Depot, it helps to wear sparkly heels, a low-cut shirt, and a lot of lipstick.

Number Five

Tony Orlando and Dawn are three people, but Tony and Orlando are not two of them. Dawn are two of them.

Number Two

When someone admits to being an unapologetic fill-in-the-blank, it usually ends up being the sort of thing they should be apologetic for.