Number Nineteen

If you cry in the shoe department at Dillard's, the salespeople will work extra hard to find you a good pair of shoes.

Number Fourteen

Being short is no guarantee that a minidress isn't going to be short as well (seriously, Michael Kors? If I was any taller I'd need pants with that dress).

Number Twelve

A sweater may look good on the mannequin at the store, but the mannequin does not have breasts. Said sweater will likely not look quite as good on you.

Number Seven

If you want any assistance at all at the Home Depot, it helps to wear sparkly heels, a low-cut shirt, and a lot of lipstick.

Number Three

There is a reason that so many infomercials air when they do: at 3 in the morning, plenty of things seem like good purchases that turn out to not be.