Number Fifty-Eight

You can't fit a fully assembled adult's bicycle into the trunk of a Toyota Camry.

Number Fifty-Seven

Never attempt to move your seat back while driving.

Number Fifty-Six

Never use a coffee table as an ottoman.

Number Fifty-Four

You can't blame Tom Clancy for all of your problems.

Number Thirty-Nine

Apparently, it's a bad idea to cut your toenails in the dark.

Number Thirty-Six

If you can injure yourself whilst putting on a pair of pants, you likely qualify as that really special kind of uncoordinated that is usually reserved for the mentally ill.

Number Twenty-Nine

The most comfortable of a choice of uncomfortable shoes is still uncomfortable.

Number Twenty-Six

It is entirely possible for a blister to form on top of a callus.

Number Nine

Never use your fist as a hammer.