Number Fifty

"Friend is a four-letter word." - Cake

Number Forty-Nine

Man plans; God laughs.

(Yiddish proverb)

Number Forty-Eight

Passive aggression inevitably leads to aggressive aggression.

Number Forty-Seven

Fifty percent shark + fifty percent octopus = one hundred percent awesome.

Number Forty-Six

It is rude to point out when others are being rude.

Number Forty-Five

When you start saying "delete" instead of "throw away," it's time to step away from the computer.

Number Forty-Four

Never, ever take a harmonica apart.

Number Forty-Three

In the absence of any new wood to peck on, a woodpecker will hammer its beak into the grass, to comedic effect.

Number Forty-Two

It's a bad idea to watch a "Criminal Minds" marathon before bed.

Number Forty-One

Green is the most pernicious of food coloring shades - sometimes even a small amount of green icing is enough to cause oddly colored bodily fluids for days.